it's another edition of double-definition tuesday!
gutter - noun, the soft underbelly of a cow
K (pointing at the belly of a cow): That's called a gutter.
me (uncharacteristically correcting her): Actually it's an 'udder.'
K (looking slightly embarrassed): Oh, yeah. Utter.
L (looking over K's shoulder): That means it's a cow.
me: That's right. Cows have udders. But so do goats and other animals.
L: Other animals?
K: That's a cow.
L: Yeah, that a cow!
me: Right. That's a cow.
K: Horses don't have that.
me: No, horses don't have udders.
L: They have ginas.
me (feeling the floor start to tilt): Uh... well, girl horses have vaginas. And girl cows have vaginas. But not boy horses.
L: They have utterth?
me: No. Girl cows have.... Udders are... (what to call them? 'mammaries' seems too clinical, 'breasts' not quite accurate) ... that's how mama cows feed their babies.
L: They nipples?
me: Uh, yeah, kind of. They're nipples.
K: Boys have nipples too. You have nipples.
me: I do. Boys have nipples and girls have nipples. Women have breasts and girl cows have udders. (yikes!)
L: Boys have pee-nuths.
me: That's right. How about we go watch Saddle Club?
melon ball - noun, a round object shot out of deck guns on old time ships
L (grabbing the pirate ship as soon as K leaves the house to go to school): Dada, I can play with this when K's not home!
me: Yes, you can.
L (looking sad): She thaid I can't play with it, but I can.
me: You can. Even when she's home you can.
L (busy with the ship): Dada, I need the melon ball!
me: Melon ball?
me: Uh... where is it?
L: Ith downthairs.
me: The 'melon ball' is?
me: What are you going to do with it?
L (helping a pirate climb up the main mast): It goeth in hee-yar (pointing to the cannon).
me: Oh, the cannon ball?
L: Yeah, the cannon ball.
me: I'll go get it.... if you ask in a nice way.
L: Pleath Dada? All 'board!!